About Me

I am Ron. As a young child, I always knew I was somewhat different. I say that probably in retrospect. I had always felt there was something missing in my life, but never really appreciated what that 'something' was.

I would always tend to want to spend time by myself, especicially on days, which one would normally expect one to want to celebrate, such as birthdays, Christmas, and National holidays.. (more on that later).

Sometime around my 7th birthday, I came across some photographs and other documents by which I learned of my Twinship. To say I was devastated, would be putting it mildly. I learned that that my elder siblings and of course my parents knew and had kept the facts from me. Now don’t get me wrong, I do understand why this happened, and I do not feel any bitterness because of this. I do understand that they were wanting to tell me when they believed I was mature enough to take in the details. I do wish I had not discovered this news by accident. I have no doubt that my parents and sibling feel the same way.

I learned I was a Twin, and my Twin Terry, had died at the age of 7 months, on the 26 January 1961. This, for non Australian readers, is Australia Day, Australia’s National Day. The positive, I suppose was that even before I found out that I was a twin, I had always known there was something missing. Now I had a name to what that "something" was. This wasn’t the end of the matter though. It didn’t lead to any great sense of peace, just the knowledge of why I felt the way I did. The thing was, I thought it was just me.

So for many, many, years I went through life not being able to shake the feelings I had, which I later learned was those of intense grief, and were shared by others, other people who had lost their twin. You see, the grief of losing a twin, is different to any other loss. I have said that losing your twin is losing someone you have shared life with since the moment of conception. No-one but another person in this position can come close to really understanding just what this actually means. This is not to devalue the grief of other kinds of loss, it’s just different. I learned that the feelings I experienced, where shared by many others. It didn’t matter if one had lost their twin, in utero, infancy, childhood or as an adult, or whether the loss was through death, separation by estrangement or separation at birth or any other reason. While there are differences in the life experiences, the loss of your twin results in remarkably similar experiences. I eventually came across support groups where I could share my experiences and take comfort that I was not alone. It has given me no end of comfort. I believe we are never alone. I will always be ‘we’ as Dr Raymond Brandt, founder of the Twinless Twins Support Group International, had expressed. I was born a Twin, when Terry passed on, I was, and still am a Twin, and when it is my time to depart this earth, I shall still be a Twin.

Having written this account, I do understand how difficult it is. However if you would like to contribute to this page, and share your experiences, please follow the contact us links.  We can and will put as much or as little information to identify you as you wish.